In These Arms
by AnnaBanana97
Summary: When James disappears during an Order mission, Lily is left heartbroken. But if James is really dead like everyone thinks, what is he doing banging on her front door in the middle of the night? Short OneShot


Lily Evans woke to the unmistakable sound of someone banging on her front door. She groaned, but when the noise refused to subside, she was forced to push her warm blankets aside and get out of bed.

Lily couldn't help but feel annoyed at the person who had wrenched out of her sweet slumber. Lately, sleep felt like the only time Lily enjoyed anything. Her days had become long stretches of nothingness. Every day, she woke up, she went to work, she ate, she socialized...but she enjoyed none of it, and those few hours in her bed at night felt like the only escape from her grey and miserable life.

It hadn't always been like this, Lily thought...she remembered, with a pang of regret, a time not that long ago when her life was filled with life, laughter...and love. Love. This particular feeling was one Lily was sure she would never feel again. Not the way she had, anyway. Not after what had happened. Not after James.

James. The thought of her disappeared boyfriend sent another wave of pain through her body.

She remembered the day like it was yesterday, though it had been more than three months...the day her life was ruined, and her heart was broken. She remembered exactly how Moody had called her into his office at the Ministry...the way his eyes had glistened when he had told her the news... he had "disappeared in action"...Lily knew very well what that meant.

The following few weeks had passed in a blur. Tons of search missions, each a disappointment. Sirius staying with Lily at James' flat, afraid to leave her alone lest she do something stupid. But Lily...she just spent her days in bed, or on the couch in the apartment, staring off into space. After a few weeks, the tears had stopped, but Lily still hadn't come back to life. And she hadn't so far...

So naturally, Lily was considerably upset as she trudged to her front door at three in the morning. She stood in front of the entrance for a few more seconds, trying to keep her annoyance to a minimum.

She needn't have bothered-the shock she felt as she opened the door was enough to drown out any emotion she might have been feeling.

For in front of her, out in the hallway of his own apartment building, was the last man Lily expected to see. He looked just as Lily remembered him, raven hair tousled, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

James.

Only a deep gash on the side of his face and his torn robes gave any indication that anything out of the ordinary had happened. That, and the fact that he was there at all. He was, after all, dead. Lily had, if not accepted his death, at least acknowledged the impossibility of his survival.

And it was indeed impossible that he was here. How many times had she imagined this scenario? Him, standing in the doorway, safe and sound...but now that he was here, she couldn't help but wish he wasn't. This would make waking up so much harder!

But still, Lily couldn't help but marvel at the precision with which she remembered him. She saw every stubble on his face, every laugh line, every detail...

In her other dreams the man on the threshold was only an approximate copy of the man she had loved and lost. Well, Lily thought, might as well enjoy it while it lasts...

And so she threw her arms around James' neck and pulled him down toward her. He stumbled into the living room, the door crashing shut behind him, wrapping his arms around her waist. He pulled her tight against him and they made their way across the room towards the couch.

Lily felt the cushions hit the back of her knees and they crashed onto them together, embracing all the while.

And so they lay, limbs entangled, on James' small, cramped sofa.

"This has got to be the best one so far..." Lily said softly into James' chest as she lay on it.

"The best what?" she heard him say back.

"Dream. In all the others you always disappear or... something..." she trailed off, thinking about some of the nightmares she'd had. Sometimes James would just turn around and run. Those were the easiest to handle. Other times it was worse... there was one particular dream where he had started throwing her around the flat, cursing and torturing her.

Yes, she thought, inhaling the deep scent that was leather, pine and just so unmistakably James. Yes, this was definetely her favorite so far.

James shifted around underneath her, effectively breaking her out of her reverie. She looked up at his face to find him eyeing her strangely.

"Lily..." he started "I hate to break it to you, but this...me, I'm not a dream. You're wide awake." he pressed his lips softly to hers, and Lily nearly moaned with the sweet feeling of his lips on hers. She was almost tempted to believe his words. Almost.

"Stop it" Lily murmured, pulling away slightly. "This'll only make my morning that much more difficult. Let's just enjoy the time we have."

"Lil-" James began, but she effectively cut him off by pressing her mouth back to his. This time neither of them pulled away.

Some time later, as sleep was starting to tug the two back into unconsciousness, James let out a low groan.

"Merlin, I hate waking you more than anything, but if I sleep on this couch the entire night, I sure am going to regret it in the morning..."

Lily chuckled slightly, but lifted herself off of him nonetheless.

"As if you' re going to be here in the morning..." she muttered as she pulled James to his feet.

Lily started for James' bedroom, but he caught her hand and pulled her back against his chest. His arms wrapped around her body once more and he buried his face in her hair.

"I promise you Lily" he whispered into her ear "I swear to you, from now on I will always be there in the morning!"

But Lily, still refusing to accept that her James had actually returned to her, just led the way into the bedroom.

When Lily woke up, it was still dark in the bedroom.

She had no desire to wake up, the dream had been wonderful...unfortunately, it had been just that. A dream. And so Lily grudgingly opened her eyes.

Lying on her side like she was, she had no difficulty confirming that the other side of the bed was indeed empty. A surge of sadness and disappointment rushed through her at this. Of course it had been a dream. She had known that. And yet...a tiny part of her, the part that still held on to the hope that James had somehow made it out alive, had wanted to believe what Dream-James had been telling her.

But she had been right...and this would be an awful morning!

All of these realisations, along with the memory of feeling James so close to her, were what brought on the stream of tears, and she couldn't hold back the sobs that raked through her body.

"Lil, please don't cry." came a deep voice from behind her.

Lily very nearly screamed.

She twisted around so quickly onto her other side that her head collided with the very bare and very muscular chest of James Potter. She quickly scrambled into a sitting position, and eyed the man in her bed.

As she had already assessed, his upper body was bare, the only thing he wore were a pair of boxer briefs that she could see as he, too, had sat up in the bed.

The gash on his cheek was still there, just as it had been in her dream.

What Lily couldn't comprehend was what he was still doing here.

Usually, her Dream-Jameses didn't stay this long. As soon as she woke, they'd be gone. This one seemed more persistent.

"Is everything okay?" she could hear the worry in his voice as he spoke. When she looked him in the face, she could see that he lowered his eyes. "Do you want me to leave?" There was something else mixed in now... disappointment?

"I don't want you to.." Lily's voice sounded weak to her own ears as she spoke, "But you will anyway..."

This seemed to liven Dream-James up a bit and he reached out until he held one of her hands in his. "I told you. I'm not going anywhere!"

"Yes! Yes, you will! You always do! As soon as I wake up - really wake up - you'll be gone! And then I'll be alone again!" she blurted out, her voice cracking toward the end. A pained look crossed James' face and he pulled her a little more toward him.

"For the last time, Lil," he murmured, all the while pulling her closer still. "You are not dreaming!"

As tears once again welled up in her eyes, he continued, "Honestly! How can I convince you that I'm really here?"

"You can't..." her voice was barely above a whisper now, "You..." she took a steadying breath as sobs once again threatened to overtake her "You're dead."

"I'm not. I'm here, and I'm not leaving, I promise."

Lily let out a shaky breath, trying to steady herself "How then? How did you manage to escape?"

James seemed reluctant to answer at first, but then, "It, uh...it's a pretty long story...and one that I'll happily tell you...but for now, I just need you to believe me."

Lily was at a loss for what to do. On the one hand, James had been gone for over three months! They has looked for him for weeks and weeks and found absolutely nothing!

But on the other hand...this James in front of her did seem pretty convincing. She hadn't managed to imagine him this precisely in her dreams... Plus, she had to admit that she felt pretty awake right now...

But it all seemed too good to be true, her James coming back from the dead.

As if from a great distance away, Lily saw her hand reaching out to touch his face. It cupped his cheek, and her thumb traced the outline of his lips.

"What's your favorite food?" she suddenly asked.

It took him a moment to get over his surprise, but when he spoke, his voice was steady, "Pudding."

"Favorite colour?" came her next question.

"Red, like the noble house of Gryffindor!" he said with a smirk.

"What was your favorite passtime when we were at school?"

"Chasing you!" When she only raised an eyebrow, he continued "...and pranking Slytherins..."

Lily drew yet another steadying breath before asking her next question.

"Have you really come back to me, James Potter?"

She could feel tears stinging the backs of her eyes again.

"For anyone else it wouldn't have been worth it..."

And that was all it took for her to launch herself at him, pushing him back into the mattress of his bed, where they stayed for the remainder of the day.

As Lily fell asleep a few hours later, there was still a tiny part of her that was afraid James wouldn't be there when she woke up.

But when she did wake up the next morning - and every single morning after that - she found herself wrapped tightly in his arms.


End file.
